One of my greatest enjoyments in life is making others laugh; guess that’s why I was the class clown in high school. Although I can honestly claim success on occasion, there have been times when I questioned someone who burst into laughter when they got their first look at me. And that was before I opened my mouth and said anything!
Anyway, I suppose you could say being the class clown came naturally to me. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. In fact, even the teacher would laugh at some of the things I said or did. Obviously it wasn’t enjoyable all the time; especially when the teacher didn’t see any humor in my antics. Of course, those were the times that the teacher really grinned; you know how teachers dearly love to dish out punishment!
Now, I have admitted being disruptive on occasion, but there were times I got in trouble that really were not my fault. For example:
I was in the middle of a class, trying my best to take notes on why Sir Walter Raleigh was imprisoned in the Tower of London for a plot against King James I! All I knew was Sir Walter Raleigh had some tobacco named after him, and King James was the version of the Bible we used. I had no idea of what the Tower of London had to do with tobacco and the Bible, and in all honesty, couldn’t have cared less!
Since the subject was not very interesting to me, my mind did what it does so well and easily – it wandered. Well, that’s not exactly right for my mind didn’t just wander; it traveled. Marco Polo didn’t come close to traveling as much as my mind did.
I turned several blank pages over and began doodlin’ in the middle of my notebook. Before I knew it, I had drawn a caricature of an individual solely for my own enjoyment.
Several weeks later and when the pages ahead of the drawing had been used up, I turned the page and there was the drawing. It just so happened that a classmate glanced over at my notebook and saw the caricature.
Now, he could have sat there and done nothing; he could have sat there and smiled silently to himself; or he could have let out a bellow of a laugh that would have awakened the dead.
Take a guess as to which option he chose!
Needless to say the teacher asked what was so funny, and needless to say he answered truthfully. He could have said it was just gas, but nooooo, he had to be Mr. Impeccable Honesty.
Yep. You can say I got into trouble. But how in the name of thunder was I to ever suspect the teacher would recognize himself in my drawing!
Well, I’ve discovered that I was not the only one who “appreciated” classroom humor. Here are a few others I stumbled across.
TEACHER: “Why are you late?” WEBSTER: “Because of the sign.” TEACHER: “What sign?” WEBSTER: “The one that says, ‘School Ahead – Go Slow.’”
TEACHER: “Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?” CINDY: “You told me to do it without using the tables!”
TEACHER: “John, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’” JOHN: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: “No, that’s wrong.” JOHN: “Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!”
TEACHER: “What is the chemical formula for water?” SARAH: “H I J K L M N O”
TEACHER:”What are you talking about?” SARAH: “Yesterday you said it’s H to O!”
TEACHER: “George, go to the map and find North America.” GEORGE: “Here it is!”
TEACHER: “Correct. Now class, who discovered America?” CLASS: “George!”
TEACHER:” Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.” WILLIE: “Me!”
TEACHER: “Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?” TOMMY: “Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.”
TEACHER: “Ellen, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’” ELLEN: “I is…” TEACHER: “No, Ellen, always say, ‘I am.’” ELLEN: “All right…I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
TEACHER: “Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?” SAM: “No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: “Desmond, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?” DESMOND: “No, teacher, it’s the same dog!”
Now, this last one obviously came from someone after my own heart!
TEACHER: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?” PUPIL: “A teacher.”
Galen White is a columnist for the Bossier Press-Tribune. Visit bossierpress.com to see more from Galen.