Ex-Spouse Day

1923

East is east, and west is west, and ne’er the twain shall meet. Let me put this another way: I’m perfectly sane, but ye are completely bonkers over here in la-la land. There are times when ye are completely unfathomable and what I saw here recently, well , let’s just say, my flabber has never been so ghasted.

‘Twas bad enough when that social plague, Facebook, had people online celebrating “Sibling Day.” Sibling Day? Really? But then, I see on MSN’s homepage the other day, “Ex-Spouse Day.” Ex-Freakin’ Spouse Day? I mean come on, please, give me a bloody break here, people. Up with this, I will not put. Enough is enough and don’t tell me that I do not deserve this rant. “Ex-Spouse Day” is a sitting duck perched on a golf tee on the edge of a cliff on a day when there’s a strong breeze behind you. It’s simply begging to be punted out into the great wide ocean.

What does it mean if you have a day that’s dedicated to “Sibling”, or “Ex-Spouse?” First of all, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are  blissfully ignorant of these “celebrations.” However, I don’t know for sure if, upon learning of their existence you’re thinking, “Aw, isn’t that cute,” or “What a load of horse manure.”

Brian headshotFor me, the very notion of consecrating a specific day for these “relationships,” just devalues them, rather than dignifying or celebrating them. This is not at all the case with something like “National Breast Cancer Awareness Day,” or “National Seat-Belt Day.” Such occasions might, just might have a real and lasting effect on someone’s life. “Sibling Day” or “Ex-Spouse Day,” these are right up there with “Rare Slug Day,” or “Toenail Clipping Day” — at best they’re just ridiculous and at worst, they are symptomatic of some sort of malaise. And being the high-stool psychoanalyst that I am, I will now diagnose for you, what “Sibling Day” and “Ex Spouse Day” signify.

They could represent plain and simple, insecurity. This constant desire to be reassured that things are fine, everything is okay. Email me, text me, phone me, and tell me I’m a wonderful person. Or, it’s good old jealously. Some idiot didn’t like his parents, was envious of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and decided, well, since my sister and I get along, why don’t we have Sibling Day?

Of course, the idiots that dream up this sentimental drivel wont be satisfied with Sibling Day and Ex-Spouse Day. Oh no. Next we’re going to have Cousin Day, Step Father’s Day, Man That Married My Half Sister’s Day, and before you know it, we’ll all be sending cards to “Children of Ex-Spouse’s Partner’s”, or whatever. Enough, for cryin’ out loud.

Father’s Day? Mother’s Day? We’re kinda stuck with them, so let’s not tamper with them. But let’s face it, they’re just an excuse for you to have the privilege of choosing which restaurant the family can go out to. Or, it’s like having another birthday. And no, I’m not so overly-sentimental to be thinking, “Well, you should be celebrating your parents every day.” In all things, moderation. If every day is special, then guess, what no day is actually special. Special, by definition, would mean it stands out from the ordinary, it’s different. But please, let’s not encourage these imbeciles by sending Facebook greetings to each other on Sibling’s Day, or Ex-Spouse Day.

Brian O’ Nuanain runs “Across The Pond And Beyond”, a company that organizes international vacations. You can reach him at acrossthepondandbeyond.com